May 30 2008

Hello! How’s it going? – My First Response.

Published by at 7:05 pm under Online Dating Experience

During the spring of 2006, I got a little taste of what is to come in the online dating world. I subscribed to Match.com dating service for several months, and I only found one person interested in me. This was my first experience meeting someone online. I wasn’t receiving any responses from people who posted pictures in their profiles. I was dismayed to learn that all of my matches won’t respond to my emails. So, I decided to contact a few people who did not post a picture, and maybe something good will come out of it.

I finally got one response. It was after I wrote a different type of email, something that stands out and doesn’t sound generic. In the profile, this girl wrote something like “I am looking for someone who is not afraid to speak their mind”, and I responded to this in the email saying that itself depicts her true personality. I got a short reply from her saying “Hello! How’s it going?”. Her name was Amy. I didn’t think this was a good response to start a conversation but it’s better than having no new messages. So, I started the conversation saying how nice the weather was, and that I have been bike riding. The real test was whether I going to get another reply from Amy? I’ve had experiences when people don’t reply to my second email and disappear. I don’t have any real answers to why is that… but maybe these girls aren’t interested or serious about meeting someone. I guess there could be millions of reasons and I’ll never know it.

Amy did reply to my second email, and I passed the test! So, that means I got myself into the second stage of the communication process. She was actually interested in talking with me.

She is interested in deer hunting

I have never been interested in anything remotely to hunting. Well, I found out Amy likes to go deer hunting with her father. I learned this is one interest we don’t have in common. I did not want to rule her out because of that, and possibly I would be missing out on a very nice girl. So I didn’t talk much about deer hunting at my end of the conversation. However, the good news was she loves to travel. and that was one of the things I like to do. It was nice to know we have some similar interests to talk about.

Saying goodbye to Match.com

After we exchanged a few emails through the Website, I was ready to ask for her personal email address so we can talk outside of Match.com. I considered this as the third stage in the communication process.  Actually, it was during this time that my subscription came to an end, and I told her that I’ll need her home email address to continue talking. As I anxiously awaited her reply for about a day, she sent me her email address. Whew, I was happy and fortunate to come this far and have at least one friend at the end of my subscription. I guess my money wasn’t entirely wasted.

The missing picture

For a couple weeks, our emails got more interesting and I was learning more about her. I started to like Amy but there was one big piece in the puzzle missing. I still haven’t seen her picture, and that is very important to see whether there is chemistry. I don’t intend to judge her entirely based on looks. I believe there has to be some sort of connection. For example, I may look at one girl thinking she is very pretty and another guy won’t be attracted to her. I think people perceive looks differently in their own way.

I decided it was time to ask her for a picture because she had already seen mine. Amy responded with this answer… “As for the picture, I don’t know how to put a picture on the computer. I can describe myself if you’d like.” There was something peculiar about that, and Amy told me she has been doing online dating for couple years now. So, I would think she knows how and other guys must have asked for her picture. Also, everyone has digital cameras and how hard would it be to attach a picture on the computer! Anyway, I told her to describe herself but that didn’t give me many answers as to how she looks. It was like trying to visualize a character in a novel.

The road to Starbucks

I don’t know what she was trying to hide by not showing her picture. The conversations between us were getting more interesting, and she was starting to ask me more questions than before. So, I decided it was time to make the next move for us to meet in person. I was kind of scared thinking about it because it’s almost like a blind date. I guess that is what to expect when you’re meeting someone online and not seeing their picture. Oh well, I had come this far and I have nothing to lose.

Amy mentioned she liked drinking coffee a lot. I asked her if she was interested in meeting at Starbucks.  I also told her that I don’t drink coffee much but I like cappuccino. She did show interest in meeting but it did not work out smoothly. I looked at my saved emails so I decided to share the actual conversations from my experience trying to meet someone for the very first time…

My reply:
I’m excited about meeting you. I remember you mentioning that you and your mom went shopping at Brookfield Square, so I’m thinking that we could meet at Starbucks across from V Richards plaza on Sunday at 11 am…

Amy wrote:
I work this weekend both Saturday and Sunday so that isn’t a good time to meet. I’m not sure what Starbucks you are talking about either. I’ll take a raincheck though. We can plan to meet on a different day and time…

My reply:
When is the next time you have the weekend off, or would you prefer to meet on a weeknight? I’ll look for a Starbucks closer to you and let you know in my next reply…

Amy wrote:
I will be turkey hunting May 10 through the 14 and the weekend of the 20 and 21 I’ll be busy also. A weeknight would be alright. Maybe the week of the 15 – 19. We could meet at the Starbucks by Brookfield Square. I’m sure I’ll be able to find it. I do live in the Falls and I know exactly where the Starbucks is. Anyway, let me know…

My reply:
I was thinking we could meet on Friday, May 19 at 7pm. Do you have any plans at that time? Sure, we can go to Starbucks near Brookfield Square…

Amy wrote:
That Friday isn’t good for me. We can meet at that Starbucks on a weeknight if that works for you. Let me know…

My reply:
No problem, we can meet on a weeknight. What day and time will work best for you next week? I usually get out of work around 6pm. I should be free anytime at 7pm or later…

Amy wrote:
A weeknight is good. I’ll let you know what night by Sunday night.

Amy wrote after Sunday night:
What day is good for you to meet?…

My reply:
I was thinking we could meet on Wednesday at 7pm. Will you be free at that time?…

Amy wrote:
I’m sorry but Wednesday isn’t good for me. I have to go stay by my dad’s house because they are going to Tennessee until Sunday. If you don’t mind we could meet Sunday sometime…

My reply:
I don’t have any plans on Sunday afternoon. What do you think about 3:00?

Amy wote:
Sunday afternoon at 3:00 at the Starbucks by Brookfield Square right?

As you can see with all these emails, I started to get very frustrated. I just wanted to meet with her and get this over with. Unfortunately, Saturday morning, on the day before we planned to meet, Amy cancelled it.  She apologized and told me she recently met someone and would like to see where that goes.

I sent her another nice email but she never got back to me again. She wasn’t even interested to be just friends and stay in touch. About a year later, I was browsing through Match.com, and I saw her profile without a picture posted. She has been online so I don’t know if she really did meet someone, and what really happened.

Well, this is one of my stories I wanted to share about my online dating experience.

One response so far

One Response to “Hello! How’s it going? – My First Response.”

  1. Matt Gurryon 24 Feb 2010 at 7:39 pm

    That’s gotta be a pain in the butt, oh well that’s the way she goes

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