Archive for the 'Social Avenues' Category

Dec 30 2012

End of the World

Published by under Social Avenues

After making so much progress earlier this year, I felt like the world was coming to an end when I lost my self-confidence once again.  Last summer, making new friends at the church group had put me on top of the world.  We went bike riding, attended summer get-togethers, played volleyball, and listened to live music in downtown Waukesha.  It was fun, but I got overwhelmed.  When I found out that some of these people had their own circle of friends and heard about events that I wasn’t invited to, I felt like an outsider again.  Our age differences didn’t help, either; many of them were much younger than I was.  My discouragement got to the point that I lost interest in these events.

Later on, when a new friendship fizzled out, I realized that I had a tendency to get emotionally attached, which would lead to jealousy and clinginess whenever my friend hung out with others.  That, in turn, would lead to worse social anxiety.  Because of that, I started to miss out on social opportunities during the fall, especially at work.  One day, the Internet went down and all of the designers decided to go out for lunch.  I was the only one who backed out because I was afraid of being disappointed again.  I still regret not going to that one.

For 2013, I want to make a fresh start.  My New Year’s resolution is to rebuild my self-confidence and push all those negative thoughts aside.  To help myself do that, I’m considering therapy sessions and a new exercise regimen.

At the beginning of 2012, I never thought I would open up this much in my blog, but venting my feelings and reaching out to others has been helping me get through life’s struggles.  I’ll work hard to make things better next year and continue to expand the hearing loss community.  In January, I plan to film and post my second YouTube video.  I just need to be patient and stay positive.  I can’t give up now.  Thank you all for your support over the past year.  Rather than thinking it’s the end of the world, I will think of 2013 as an amazing new beginning.

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Sep 17 2012

Opening Social Avenues

Published by under Social Avenues

Why do I sometimes feel like I don’t have a friend in this world? Why my friendship is a one-way street? Why do I still deal with social anxiety?  Friends, I’m sharing my story on YouTube for the first time ever.  Check it out: http://youtu.be/JGdfuCd82SE, and spread the word!

Share your own stories of opening up your social avenues at this week’s Open Chat Night!

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Aug 01 2011

The New Meaning of Friendship

The first topic for Open Chat Night was Not having many friends and stemmed from a bad experience I was having with a few people at work.  During the chat, I quickly realized that I’m not the only person living with that type of experience.  It made me want to open up more and provide a place for others to do the same.

Today, I realize how great of a decision it was to create the online community and chat room, rather than curling up in a ball and quitting.  The people who visit the chat room are wonderful and I hope they have benefited as much as I have, both on and offline.

During this Wednesday’s Open Chat Night, share your thoughts on friendship and what it means to you.

You can also discuss “What is the meaning of friendship?” in the forum.

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Mar 21 2011

Stress-Filled Situations

The opening topic for this Wednesday’s Open Chat Night will be: How to reduce isolation, anger, and withdrawal from others.

Stress caused by issues relating to hearing loss can result in isolation, anger, and withdrawal from others.  There are ways to reduce these stress-filled situations and make our lives more enjoyable and peaceful.

For instance, I work out at a local gym 1-3 times per week.  I could actually feel a difference after just one workout, but now I’m noticing more and more positive results as time passes.  Working out continues to help eliminate a great deal of stress and emotional build-up that used to fester inside.  Also, I am seeing a counselor to get advice on ways to reduce feelings of isolation and general social anxieties.  These are just the two steps I’m taking to improve the quality of my life.

Join all of us for this Wednesday Night’s Open Chat Night to share your advice on reducing hearing loss related stresses.

You can also discuss How to reduce isolation, anger, and withdrawal from others in the forum.

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Feb 22 2011

Share your experience with nightlife and hearing loss

The opening topic for Open Chat Night will be how we can experience the fun of nightlife while having hearing loss. 

I have connected with many people from all over the country since starting the hearing loss community several years ago.  I have learned some of us are going through social isolation because of our hearing loss.  I am fortunate to have a wonderful group of people offering support in the chat room to help people deal with social anxiety, including myself.

My physical trainer at the gym was helping me gain more confidence and gave me some advice on how to approach new people by starting a conversation.  He suggested that I experience the nightlife by attending social bars in downtown Milwaukee.  I know this would be a great way to make new friends and possibly meet someone but I have a fear of putting myself in that social setting.  I’m worried the loud noise will make it even more difficult to hear what people are saying. My biggest challenge has always been background noise, and because of this I have been procrastinating going to a bar for over a year now.

As I find more ways to overcome the fears of social settings, I’m hoping to experience the nightlife in the next month or so.

For anyone who has experienced nightlife, join us on Wednesday Night’s Open Chat Night to share your story.

You can also discuss Share your experience with nightlife and hearing loss in the forum.

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Jan 24 2011

Do you perceive yourself as being less approachable?

The opening topic for Open Chat Night will be a discussion about why some of us are less approachable among people at work, school and other social settings.

Whenever I am in a social environment, people seem cautious about approaching me and starting a conversation, other than the so-called small talk.  That mostly happens with people I don’t know very well.  For instance, I attended one of the Meetup.com events for dinner at a restaurant.  There were newcomers in the group including me and we didn’t know each other. During the entire conversation, I found myself trying to jump in but the others didn’t engage in further conversation with me as they did with each other.  It was very frustrating and put forth another negative feeling that nobody likes me.

I think the problem is my lack of self confidence and inability to let go of the past that makes people less likely to approach me.  Also, I am very inexperienced in social settings.  I believe I put off a nervous and unsure energy that makes some people feel uneasy to start a conversation.

I’ve had many bad experiences while growing up.  Broken friendships, being treated like an outsider, and the constant feeling of loneliness.  All of those have played a factor in who I am now, and makes it a greater challenge for me to overcome my social anxiety.

I can’t change my personality but I really need to work on improving my self confidence and leaving the past where it belongs. 

I know there are people out there who feel lonely and singled out in group conversations.  Please join us and share your story during Wednesday Night’s Open Chat Night.  As I’ve said many times, “Just remember, you are not alone.”

You can also leave a comment here or discuss the Do you perceive yourself as being less approachable? in the forum.

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Dec 08 2010

Another Year Older

Published by under Social Avenues

As I turned a year older, my parents sent a greeting saying, “Remember, you are not just an year older, but a year better!”.  At the midpoint of my life, I must have accomplished a lot more than I realize in order to be where I am today.  Even though I have faced many struggles and challenges, I am proud of myself for not giving up and doing the best I can.

My birthday turned out to be a special day, and many of my friends remembered to send me birthday wishes on Facebook.  A very close friend at work brought a cake and treated me for lunch which I didn’t expect.  All of the thoughtfulness and kindness of others means a lot to me.  It makes me realize that I’m not alone in this world and have lots of friends who care about me.

As I grow another year older, I’m confident all my birthday dreams and wishes will come true.  No matter how difficult it can be, I’m going to make it happen.

Another better year has just begun!

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Dec 31 2009

At Year End

Published by under Social Avenues

It has been yet another challenging year for me.  During the summer, I was feeling good about myself being included in a group, and then months later has led into another disappointment.  But I have gained more experience for building relationships with people, learned from my past mistakes, and have not given up on myself with the support of my family and “true friends” I have today.  I am confident to take the next road that will lead to success.

As the year comes to an end, I should look back on the positive things.  I completed 24 sessions with a physical trainer.  That was helpful for me to reduce anxiety and get in better shape.  I was actually able to beat my 9-year niece in arm wrestling. 🙂  I took my first trip alone to New York City.  It was something adventurous that I had never done before and I’m proud of myself for doing it.  The New York trip has built up confidence in me to get out more and try different things.  I have done some volunteer work but I didn’t do as much as I should have.  At the very least, I started something and plan to pursue more in the new year.

During the past several months, my hearing loss community has continued to grow.  I made new friends along the way from all over the country.  It has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done by helping people in a community.  I’m getting more involved with the hearing loss chapter group here in Milwaukee.  I’ve taken the role of being a volunteer coordinator for Milwaukee Walk4Hearing in May 2009.  This is a job I had also never done before.  It will be a good experience for me especially when it comes to social interaction.

I believe the year 2010 will be a turning point in my life.  My plans for the New Year will bring good things and the dreams I have will come true.  I will work hard to become more active; whether joining a class, getting involved in activities, or doing some volunteer work.  The key is to find what you’re interested at and not stay home doing nothing.

I am excited to start the New Year.

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May 26 2009

New Beginnings

Published by under Social Avenues

I think life is too precious to be wasted on doing things that really don’t matter.  During the past few years, I found myself doing things that don’t make any difference.  I’ve talked to several nice people online but haven’t had much success in the physical world.  I’ve gone through many different online social networking sites hoping that I would meet someone and make new friends.  Then I realized doing the same type of thing isn’t going to get me anywhere.

As for the summer, I’ve been looking at doing some volunteer work.  I also plan to attend the hearing loss chapter meeting in my area.  I’m hoping these will give me the opportunity to make my life more interesting while helping others, and hopefully find friends to hang out with.  I’ve also been trying so hard to meet a nice girl to spend time with.

I’ve had many bad experiences in the past with broken friendships and not being included in social activities, but I have to move forward and put those experiences behind me.  I believe all of this takes confidence and a positive outlook, so that’s what I’m working on.

I will continue to share my experiences with my readers.

As always, thanks for reading, and feel free to share your stories and ideas.

One response so far

Jan 12 2009

Bringing in the New Year

Published by under Social Avenues

I was feeling down for not having any special plans on New Year’s Eve.  During that night, I was thinking about myself being unsocial and not having many friends.  But then, just before the new year, my thoughts became positive and I realized how lucky I am and how much progress I have made. 

I’m lucky to have a roof over my head, a secure job in this struggling economy, a wonderful family, good health, new friends, and I’m finally realizing that my past is just that, my past, and that I control ‘the now.’ That has probably been my biggest struggle.

I have also worked very hard during the past several months; I have attended more social events, created an online hearing loss community, made some new friends from a church group, and last week I joined a health club which has really helped lower my anxiety and raise my confidence.

I have more progress planned for the new year, mainly focused on finding new social avenues, accepting myself, and fighting off the negative thoughts that never seem to be beneficial. Staying positive is the only way.

Thank you for reading and feel free to share your story.

Happy New Year!

One response so far

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