Archive for the 'A World of Inspiration' Category

Nov 02 2017

Nothing Personal is Personal

It was just another normal day at work on Friday, July 28.  I was feeling positive while taking on a graphic design request assigned to me.  I always showed the willingness to contribute in other areas with my broad experience and creative talent whenever I could.  At noon, my manager sent me a chat message asking if I would be around at 1 p.m.  He didn’t give an explanation, so out of curiosity I checked out his calendar—there was a meeting titled “Employee Action” at that time.  I wondered what that meant as I walked over to my manager and asked if everything was okay.  He briefly mentioned there was nothing to worry about, so that was a relief.  I was thinking maybe it was a promotion or something good, since I had always been a hard worker.  But instead, the unexpected happened like an asteroid falling on me out of nowhere.  I was called in to see the HR manager whom I never met before.  The HR manager told me I was being terminated.  I wasn’t given any good reason for this.  I asked, “Am I being fired?”  The only answer I received was, “No, nothing personal.”  I was told this was a marketing department decision and that my skills weren’t needed anymore.  Well, that was a vague response.  Everything was personal to me in this case and I did not see it coming at all.  The digital team was expanding and more of my expertise was beneficial in the days to come as mentioned.  I’ve always gotten positive feedback and recognition on my work.  Nobody was being laid off in the marketing department and I kept asking the reason “why”?  The HR manager and my manager were only interested to take away my ID badge and bring any personal belongings I had.  I could not even return back to my desk.  My manager walked me out of the building and treated me like a complete stranger.  I have never been treated so badly by any company I worked with over the years.  I felt deeply insulted and, even more, cheated like everything was an act.  Just like that, one sunny afternoon, I lost my job that I worked so hard to get 17 months ago.  Later, I learned I was possibly wrongfully terminated because they had hired another person to take over my role a week later.  I had a taste of how Corporate America and management operate, particularly in big companies.  It can happen to anyone and the world isn’t always a friendly place.  It’s filled with politics.  Unfortunately, it happened to me.

Even though this experience has really emotionally impacted me during the past couple of months,  I have been trying to stay positive.  Yes, thinking about beginning the job search process again is difficult.  Yes, I have had dreams while sleeping of going back to work and being treated like an outsider by co-workers as I dealt all of my life growing up because of my hearing loss.  But I’m also reminded of why I started all of this in the first place.  This experience is why I continue to expand my hearing loss website, write a novel reaching out to the world, and share my personal experience in every part of my life.  I will continue to advocate for others who are treated unfairly and isolated in the outside world.  Someday I will reach the stars and all my dreams will come true, no matter what roadblocks I encounter.  Sharing my stories, frustrations, and achievements is the best cure to move forward.  That’s what I have been doing all along here in my blog.

Thank you all for reading and your support.  New beginnings and good things are to come.

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Dec 03 2012

Social phobia in the break room

Published by under A World of Inspiration

“I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.” – Joan Rivers

Since middle school, I’ve had the same thing happen again and again.  It goes something like this: whenever I made friends, they would invariably feel more comfortable with their own circle of friends than with me, and I would end up sitting alone.  Sometimes I tried talking to them more often, but then they would not approach me again.  When that happened, I would feel like giving up; what was the point of trying?  In fact, I still have some residual hurt feelings from a bad experience with coworkers several years ago when they decided not to include me during their breaks because of having different interests.  It’s a long story.  I’m working hard to overcome that.

Part of the process is analyzing myself.  I’ve realized that because I have so few close friends, I have a tendency to get emotionally attached to any possible new friend.  If I noticed them spending more time or attention on others than me, I would feel jealous and clingy, and that would eventually repel them.  Trying too hard or not trying at all doesn’t really seem to get me anywhere, does it?  Finding that middle ground is a constant challenge for me.  As of this winter, I’m planning to start up my “World of Inspiration” by reaching out and sharing my personal experiences.

One response so far

May 27 2012

Has something in me died?

Published by under A World of Inspiration

“Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.” – Gore Vidal

I think something inside of me had to die in order for me to overcome the limiting belief about my ability to make friends.  Building a new friendship can be just as difficult as keeping the friends you already have.  As the summer approaches, that limiting belief is easily putting me back to where I started.  I’ve been turning down opportunities to meet new people lately and instead staying at home– within my comfort zone.  I must admit that I’m just not experiencing the enjoyment of meeting new people; in fact, I find it very stressful because of the fear of rejection.  I’d rather focus on my hearing loss community where I truly feel like I belong.  Sharing my experiences, reaching out to people, and helping others makes me feel important, loved, and on top of the world. That’s the best medicine I can get for now.

I have opened up a lot in this blog.  As the summer approaches, I will be taking on a new challenge to share my personal experiences on YouTube that hopefully will be inspiring to many people out there.  Just remember, you’re not alone in this world.

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Mar 21 2012

Friends versus a limiting belief

Published by under A World of Inspiration

If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you. – Louise Hay

There are times when I’m able to completely shut out the busy world because it just seems easier than asking to hang out with friends.  The biggest problem with limiting beliefs is that they force you to live below your potential and perceive things negatively.  Since childhood, I have had a limiting belief about my ability to make friends, which was worsened by rejection.  Among the many answers I’d gotten were “I’m busy,” “I already have plans,” or better yet, a vague promise that never happened.  Of course, by a certain age, most people have established their own circle of friends with whom they feel most comfortable.  So, meeting new people now is going to be a little more challenging, especially for a shy introvert like me.

But, a surprising scenario happened a couple of weeks ago.  Someone from the church group I recently joined invited me to go sledding with her and a group of friends.  I had such a great time with them, though it didn’t seem real because I couldn’t believe that anybody would just come out and ask me to hang out without my making the effort.  I guess that’s a limiting belief which I’ve accepted as truth.  In truth, I’ve made a lot of progress, and if I’m not careful, that limiting belief can put me back to where I started.

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Jan 24 2012

My Perception of the World

Published by under A World of Inspiration

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. ~Leo Aikma

Over the years, I’ve struggled to build my self-confidence, and though I’ve made a lot of improvements, I still have some inhibitions to overcome.  Nevertheless, my father told me last night that I am a lot better compared to last year, especially by helping people, being more outgoing, and taking risks.

There are still times when I perceive everyone negatively (albeit unintentionally), including my close friends.  Because I never had a lot of friends and resented others for not making time for me, I began to perceive the world as a lonely, unfriendly place, and I came to adopt a victim mentality.  But I can’t keep doing that; people will sense it and pull away.

I have to keep in mind the wise words of my friend, Lisa McTavish, who is leaving my work to take a new job.  She told me to keep smiling, have confidence, and I’ll win the respect of others.  Thank you, Lisa, for helping me take back that confidence over the months.  I’ve been blessed to know you.

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Jan 03 2012

Better Hopes for Tomorrow

Published by under A World of Inspiration

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” – Groucho Marx

My friend from Texas came here to visit his sister.  On New Year’s Eve, another close friend invited all of us to their house for lunch.  My parents and I had a great time.  During the night though, I didn’t have any friends to hang out with; everyone had their own plans.  I decided to go home after staying with my parents for a while.

Sitting at home, I started to feel lonely.  I thought of people spending time with their loved ones– in particular, my nephew and niece, who were most likely hanging out with my sister’s friends.  They were planning on heading out to a Packer game the next morning.  I started feeling sad about not having a girlfriend– for yet another year– as the clock ticked closer to midnight.

In that moment, I was once again haunted by the thought that perhaps there really was no place for me in this world.  But, I reminded myself that I have a lot of good things going on in my life.  Truthfully, I’ve made a lot of progress since last year.  I have a loving family; I’ve made new friends from work and a church group I recently joined; and more people have joined and our weekly Open Chat Night.  So, I am not alone in this world.  I just have to keep in mind that no matter what situation arises in my life, I have the power to make myself happy.  It’s all up to me.  So, I’m going to just enjoy today and hope for tomorrow.

One response so far

Dec 28 2011

Follow Your Dreams

Published by under A World of Inspiration

I’ve always dreamed about having a book published, sharing my story with the world.  It started to happen this year when I was featured on the cover of Hearing Loss Magazine’s November/December issue.  With 40,000 subscribers, I had tremendous expectations that many people would respond in some fashion and maybe even join my hearing loss community.  I did receive a handful of comments, but overall I was disappointed at the less-than-stellar response.

I once again fell into the pattern of low self esteem and zero confidence, almost to the point of giving up on even trying to reach my goals and dreams.  I want to meet someone, become more social and have lots of friends, and become famous by bringing millions of people to my community that I have worked tirelessly to establish.

Then it dawned on me.  How could I give up?  How could I throw away all that hard work?  What about the people who love being part of the community?  Being featured on the cover of a magazine is a big deal and I’m one out of millions of people with hearing loss to get this opportunity.  Heck, I’m one of  millions period.  What more could I possibly ask for?  I am proud of myself, and proud to be part of the push to get others involved and get the word out.

How easy it was to fall back to my old ways and thought patterns.

If I want to reach my dreams and goals, I need to continue forward and not let roadblocks and the past interfere with me.  I need to see all the good right in front of my face.

I must remember that dreams can only happen if I believe they can, and believe in myself.

Happy New Year!

“Have great hopes and dare to go all out for them. Have great dreams and dare to live them. Have tremendous expectations and believe in them.” – Norman Vincent Peale

One response so far

Dec 03 2011

A New World of Inspiration

Published by under A World of Inspiration

A friend of mine shared a website where I can read inspirational quotes each day, something to help me keep a daily positive attitude.  I thought it would be a great idea to share these quotes on my blog and write about how it affected my personal experiences.  I hope my readers will take a moment to share their experiences as well.  We can all learn from each other and enjoy life each day.

“We are all here for some special reason.  Stop being a prisoner of your past.  Become the architect of your future” – Robin Sharma

I think this is a great quote because it relates to my own life experiences.  Whenever I dwell on the past, I have been unable to succeed in life.  In the recent years, I have started opening up to people about my past living in a world of social isolation, loneliness and feeling rejected by others.  Perhaps the reason I am here is to reach out to others with similar struggles and it’s the best medicine to help me overcome it.  My dream is to share my story to the world and I should have brighter future doing that.  No matter what road blocks I face, I will work hard to achieve this goal.

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